Amy Grant....still good after all these years

Thursday evening I took a walk down memory lane with my husband and another couple. We drove to Morgan Hill to see Amy Grant in her 20 city tour of the Lean Me On reunion, celebrating the release of that album (it might have still been an album back then!) 20 years ago. Amazing!
There were some sweet moments, a lot of tunes I'd not listened to in ages and a real jolt of reality that like it or not, I've actually gotten older.

She kept joking about the fact that people continually come up to her and say that they like her music, but they really like her "old stuff." She talked about us being the kind of audience that now wants to just come in, sit down, relax and watch someone sing....no more jumping up and dancing and singing and so on. It's so hard to believe that we're the ones we used to call "older." That's me now! Why should this surprise me when one daughter just drove out the driveway to attend her homecoming dance and the other is at a friend's house getting ready for the same party. 20 years ago, those children weren't even born yet!!!!!

On the other hand, last week I had a young woman who is in seminary and in her mid-twenties, drop her jaw when I said I was 49 years old and later on she said I was a rock star! So, this getting older stuff isn't all bad....maybe I'm also still pretty good after all these years ;-)

Writer's Block, version 2

I've known for quite some time that my most creative stuff, my richest loam, comes from deep, dark and even depressing times in my life. So, here I sit at my computer wondering why I am not able to write. I listen to my muses, the creative geniuses in my life, and wonder why I can't write like them. A Carrie Newcomer song brings me to tears with her depth, cleverness and certain connection to real life. I read a Rilke poem and wonder at the genius and the veil of creativity that is lended him by his own shadow side. What do I do? Wait for bad things to come again? That seems like a desperate way to be a writer.

My creativity feels shriveled, dead and distant. How can this be when life seems so good? Possibly the refrain I would write is actually the life I am currently living. It's so good and fertile right now that I can't access the depth of my feelings, emotions and all the stuff that makes for really good art! That seems very sad to me. Maybe my "dry bones" will be brought to life soon. I keep hoping....

why I love teenagers

I've been waiting a really long time for the bad, horrible, tension filled days of teenage life to enter our household. Seriously, in a sort of hold your breath, wait for the other shoe to drop sort of way, I've wondered when things will get really bad. When will my kids refuse to talk to me? When will they sneak out of the house and not tell me? Or go somewhere completely different than where they told me they were going? Fact of the matter is, this has not happened. And as a parent, I feel similar to the way I felt when both of my daughters, respectively, started sleeping through the night at around six to eight weeks of age! Shhhhhh, don't share this with any other parents, because they might just chop your head off or worse!

I absolutely love my daughters. Now, I am in no way deluded. They are not perfect people and they have inherited their share of flaws from both me and my husband. They are probably not going to win any academic awards or be named all-league athletes or the like. But, they have some qualities that I find exceptional, remarkable and God-given.

Let me list a few:
- grateful for what they have and seldom ask for things beyond our means
- they do their own laundry
- they fix their own lunches for school
- one of them is an exceptional cook and the other a great baker
- neither one of them complains about going to church, youth group or the like....they do it willingly and are generally involved in more than would be minimally expected
- sensible
- concerned for others and the planet
- generous
- good, healthy senses of humor
- not overly concerned about looks or fashion
- appropriate and growing sense of independence

Okay, that's enough gloating for now....I am mostly sad that these are not the kinds of traits or qualities that we generally are looking for or affirming in our teenagers. If you live with one, teach one, lead one, know one in any context, the next time you have a conversation with a teenager, ask them things that would draw out matters of person rather than GPA, intended college or latest sporting achievement. You might be surprised!

I serve two churches

Those of you who know me know that I am a pastor of a small, aging, liberal congregation in the East Bay (California). What you may not know, though, is that I seem to be pastoring another church, too. I have an increasing list of folks who regularly call on me, meet with me, seek my counsel, reflect with me about spiritual and life matters, but come nowhere near the doors of my church on a Sunday morning. This has not been an intentional development and it has grown slowly over time. Let me share with you some descriptions of just a few of the "members" of my second congregation: * a peer who is a single mom and very spiritual, but not religious - a very common description * a young woman in her 20's who is a devout Christian, but has questions about her relationships her career, etc * a man I counseled 20 years ago at high school church camp who just found me on Facebook * a newly married woman whose struggling and whose husband is not a Christian * a friend who has become disillusioned with the church after years of active involvement * and many more I share this because I'm wrestling with what it means....for me, for the church, for these individuals and so many others who are searching for something that does not look exactly like what church has looked like for the last 50 years (or more). The real challenge is to communicate this with my first church and to share the ministry I have with them. If anyone out there has any ideas, please let me know!

Ignoring it all

I do not want to know the news
I would rather fill the pews
with folks who want to hear good news

I'd rather not lament the past
I'd really rather have a blast
I'd like to go and have some fun
or help some others, even one

I hate to think that the world is bad
or that people everywhere are so sad
Can't we just think positively
please let me see your face full of glee

There is some hope, there has to be
Perhaps it's just around the corner, ooh, I see
And if it isn't here or there,
Just for the moment,
I don't care!

Best things in life...

Saturday is my birthday.....one more year til the big 5-0! Wow, where do the years go????
Anyway, it seems a great opportunity to share my greatest joys. I just feel so full of gratitude right now for....
....An awesome, supportive, generous, hard-working and partner for a husband.
.....Daughters who give me such joy for the ways in which they are growing and becoming
.....A place where I can minister and share my gifts to such a wide variety of people (ages, stages of life, varieties of theologies, etc)
.....So many amazing friends from so many different facets of my life, create an extended family that fills my heart with love and imagination
....Music, music, music
.....a God of grace, compassion, justice and love
.....health, home, and all good gifts
In the words of the t-shirt maker, "Life is Good....do what you love, love what you do"