A parishoner recently told me that getting old is not for the faint of heart. I think I know exactly what he means. The longer I live, the more I realize how fragile, tenuous and uncertain this earthly life really is. Some of us have been shielded from that reality for a longer time than others.
I marvel at how unscathed I have been up to this point in my life. However, there comes a time, when we all realize the blessings and the troubles are pretty random occurrences.
My dad died in December, and what comes with that, in addition to grief and loss, is the stark and shocking idea that I am not getting younger. Aging parents, children in their teens, a few more wrinkles and aches and pains than just a few years ago, and so goes the list.
I also recognize that on my good days, on those days when I'm really aware and alive and present to the moments, that all this mortality and fragility awareness makes me so much more grateful for the moments and days......
for a beautiful dinner with friends,
for coffee and meditation on my balcony in the crisp, fall air,
for the comforts of home,
for a husband who is loving and caring,
for a place to serve and be challenged and share my gifts,
for the freedom to express myself,
for countless ways in which I feel loved and embraced by God.
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