28 Day Cleanse - Day 22

Oh my goodness, less than a week to go, but not really. I've made a strong commitment to myself that I need to stay with this program. It's working for me and in so many ways. I'm feeling much closer to myself and to God. I have more time for prayer and contemplation because I'm not thinking about food all the time! It's such freedom. Also, my attachment to things is loosening as well. Hallelujah! Free at last! I'm on my way.....

28 Day Cleanse - Day 20

I made a decision to fast from the computer during our Sabbath retreat. I left my phone in my room and only looked at it twice a day. The food was a challenge, but I had many successes. I did not eat the superb smelling pizza, cookies, cake, pecan pie (a favorite of mine). But I did feast on amazing reflections, the good fellowship of colleagues, laughter at dinner, and beautiful candlelight in the seminary chapel. I feel "fat" on God! One of the things we talked about in our retreat, the first movement of Sabbath, was stopping. I think that is so important in balanced eating. Being aware enough to stop before taking a bit, planning a menu, shopping at the grocery store, etc.

A poem

Busy
frantic, chaotic, out of control
It's a rat race but I am not a rat
I'm a human being, not a human doing
Slow me down
Make me stop
s l o w m e d o w nnnnnnnnn.
stop

28 Day Cleanse - Day 17

Wow, the days are speeding by. Only one word for today: Headache! Ouch ouch ouch. Just when I thought I was over the hump, the effects of the cleanse rear their ugly heads again. I will not be defeated, though. I ask for prayers for these next 3 days as I am on retreat with a number of other pastors in the Presbytery. These events are notorious for snacks and wine and other spirits. I pray for will power and perseverance. Tomorrow I will write a more lengthy reflection. Good night and be well.....

28 Day Cleanse - Day 16

Happy Anniversary to us! We spent the day at the beach and then had dinner with friends. This was a day that was more about what I didn't do than what I did. It was just too much of a hassle to take shakes and stuff with me, as we weren't going to be staying over and have any access to kitchen, ice, etc. I did a shake this morning and then for lunch hubby and I shared a sushi combo with sashimi. For dinner I had an incredible spinach with grilled chicken and sour apples and walnut salad. No cheese, no dressing and it was fabulous. Then I passed right by the dark chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting and had a cup of decaf instead. Pretty dang impressed with myself!!!! It was a fabulous day and it was not about food, but about beauty, friendship and love.

28 Day Cleanse - Days 14 and 15

Oops! I was sooooo whipped last night after two 12 hour work days that I simply went from the front door to bed last evening. Did not pass go, did not collect $200 and did not blog. I do feel as if my body is adjusting to the chemical changes. I realize I have put my body through a lot of them....no dairy, no refined sugars, no wheat, limited fats, and no alcohol. That's a lot of change in a short amount of time. I think the comment SK made on my last post, the one about feasting on things besides food is a very good one. So, what does a feasting lifestyle look like? I think we've forgotten what feasting really means. Instead, we've replaced it with the idea of too much is what we live for. Overdoing it. Going for all the gusto. Eating the whole enchilada. Having one's cake and eating it too. This is not feasting.....it's gluttony. Don't go whole hog....instead, savor, enjoy, delight, take joy in the small things. A very long time ago I was in a Weight Watchers program with probably the only good leader I ever had. One of her quotes was "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." I'm not sure I totally believe that, but perhaps we'd all be better off to heed the sentiment of the saying. Addiction to gratification, whether it be food, substances, material possessions, even human relationships, is never a good thing. Augustine said, "Our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee." Some might say it's an overused phrase, but I think it isn't until we heed it's call.

28 Day Cleanse - Day 13

Unlucky 13! I made the mistake of getting on the scale today. Before you draw any conclusions from that, I've actually lost about 10 pounds! Wow!!! I'm so surprised. The reason I call it a mistake is that I really don't want it to be about the weight. I don't want to get drawn into the whole number thing. I don't want to judge my success or failure on how much weight I lose in 28 days. In fact, that would be very bad because if I do really well, I might be less likely to want to continue. I know that sounds crazy, but there is this bizarre brain activity that goes on for me that is like self-sabotage. If I do really well for a while, then I start to think, "hmmmm, it won't hurt if I just eat like a normal person for a while." I feel as if the 3 margaritas and the cheezy burrito really won't do harm. Then that turns into the yummy birthday cake with 3 inches of frosting....etc etc etc. So, I'm trying to just forget about the scale. I'll get on again at the end of the 28 days and see where I am, but until then, I want to focus on my attitude, my relationships and my health.

Continuing with the cognitive dissonance I am living with as I continue to prepare for the "Spirituality of Food" retreat, I am reading a book by Robert Farrar Capon entitled the "Supper of the Lamb." In it he gives an entire treatise that makes a case for butter. He treats each recipe and manner of food preparation as sacrament. It's fascinating and almost as tantalizing as watching the opening of Julie and Julia, where Meryl Streep (Julia) is tasting the fish in the restaurant. It's sensual and worshipful and pure delight! I guess what I'm wondering is how I can reconcile the fasting with the feasting. Any ideas?

28 Day Cleanse - Day 12

I'm almost half way done with the cleanse. I've stayed off the paleo product and just doing shakes and the rest of the plan. I feel good and good about it. I think it is important to know one's limits. I'd rather be successful and realistic, than unrealistic and fail. I can say that some of my pants are loose again and that's okay, but still not the main point.

This is a day that I feel my limitations in body, mind and spirit. God give me strength!

28 Day Cleanse - Day 11

Isaiah 55

Invitation to the Thirsty

¹ "Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.

² Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

This is the passage that has been holding my attention. Nothing much more to say. What does it say to you?

28 Day Cleanse - Day 10

I'm already at day 10. I can't believe it. Last night was the Octoberfest at my church and it was a challenge, but I think I did as well as could be expected. No dessert, no bread, no beer with a taste of the potatoes, one brautwurst and some very low cal sauerkraut. I personally LOVE sauerkraut. I know I'm weird.

Today was a fabulous day but I was really hungry, the reason being that I went on the CROP walk today. Nearly 5 miles of walking when all was said and done. With having been sick and the like, I had not done a walk of that length in nearly 3 weeks. I was certainly feeling it. Still struggling with the cleansing product. The formula is supposed to clean out toxins in the liver and colon and such. I guess this is the part on which I'm not completely sold. However, if it was easy to drink, eat, etc, I would not complain and give it a shot. I got some herb stuff at Whole Foods that is supposed to do the same. One day at a time is my motto.

Tonight I sauteed some eggplant (grown in a church member's garden), had brown rice and sugar snap peas and canned salmon. It sounds gross, but it was tasty. I'm becoming a big fan of the one bowl meal. What is difficult is imagining what happens when the 28 days is over. I'm starting to eat differently, but I'm not sure how realistic it is. Portion sizes are and always have been the key. Diet and exercise. There is no magic formula. What is amazing is the lengths we will go to tell ourselves that there is something else that will do the trick. Silly people!

28 Day Cleanse - Day 9

I like the fact that I'm almost to double digits. So, I tried the quinoa cereal with the paleo cleanse. No go. Seriously, I choked down 4 bites and couldn't do the rest. I think cleansing is a good idea, but I'm convinced that God did not want us to eat nasty tasting stuff. There's just too much really good stuff to eat to have that make sense to me. Brown rice was with steamed zucchini slices and some prawns scattered on top. Healthy, hearty, now that's what I'm talkin' about!

I am really considering what to do about the cleanse powder. My next stop is to try to just do a chug of the minimum 8 oz of liquid followed by a chaser of lemon water. Praise God for choices.

This is the thought that I have carried with me through the day:
"When the flesh is satisfied it is hard to pray with cheerfulness or to devote oneself to a life of service which calls for much self-renunciation" (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship, New York: Macmillan Publ. Co., 1949, p. 189).

28 Day Cleanse - Day 8

So, I have completed one week and am on to week two. In retrospect, last week was pretty good. Today I started adding a product that is called Paleo Cleanse. Gross! Disgusting! Awful! I was pretty discouraged. Tried putting this product in my shakes and almost couldn't hack it. But I started reading some of the recipes again and found I can add it to a quinoa cereal for breakfast. I figure that may be more palatable for me. The product container says to use it with 8 ounces of water. I think it may be better for me to just "chug" one of those down a day than try to tolerate with other seemingly good tasting things.

Another serendipitous happening during this 28 day journey is that I am walking with some members of my church in the Church World Service CROP walk.
What is a CROP Hunger Walk? you ask:
Neighbors walking together to take a stand against hunger in our world. Together we raise awareness and funds for international relief and development, as well as local hunger-fighting
I've raised $190 and our church has raised over $500. We're small and that seems like a drop in the bucket, but if everyone pitches in, we can do amazing things. Also, I'm looking forward to doing something that focuses outside of myself and toward serving others.

I pray for all who are hungry and tired and homeless....

28 Day Cleanse - Day 7

Coming to the end of week one. Someone on the introductory conference call said that one can do anything for 28 days. I feel like the timing of this was absolutely perfect for me. I have a couple of major challenges coming up. Saturday is our church's Octoberfest....complete with bratwurst, german potatoes, some yummy apple dessert and beer. I can walk past the beer and I guess I can eat the sauerkraut, but I can only have a taste of anything else, or not at all. I'm waiting til Saturday morning to make my final decision.

The next challenge (and prayer request) is a bit more formidable. I will be at a retreat October 26-28. Fortunately, we're staying in a building with a kitchen, so I can pack my stuff. I'll just have to be diligent to stay away from all the snacks that seem to pile up at such events. It is a Sabbath retreat, so the spiritual side of me will be getting significant nourishment.

I'm still battling a head cold or something??? Wondering if it is a result of the change in habits. Then I wonder if my body is working too hard in the direction of metabolism to fight the illness. Ahhhhhhh, I can do anything for 28 days and then I'll assess. I think there is a lot in this that I can continue on the journey toward making peace with food and God.

28 Day Cleanse - Day 6

So, today I hit a wall. I must admit, I'm a carbohydrate addict. I wanted sugar so badly today. Like a smoker who goes searching all the drawers for a cigarette when trying to quit, I was looking all over my office for something sweet. Rats! I found something. The seasonal sugary item: Candy Corn. I love those little orange, yellow and white confections. I can't explain it either. Okay, so before you become completely overcome with sympathy or disappointment, I only ate 5 of them. Then I stopped and realized that I'm only hurting myself. Put those dreadful little temptations out of sight and went about my day.

I think it is sort of ironic that I am preparing for a Women's Retreat in January that is entitled Soul Food: The Spirituality of Eating. It's about gratitude, justice, hospitality and celebration/feasting. I talk a bit about fasting as well. So, while I am changing my ways, I'm reading books and watching films about food. What can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment!

28 Day Cleanse - Day 5

So, there is something else that I am fasting from in these 28 days. The people who know me well know I love to shop. I am not a collector like my mom, but when I'm really honest with myself, there is a part of her in my desiring to have nice stuff, fun stuff, clothes and shoes for all occasions, etc. So, I decided that while doing this 28 day body reset, that I would refrain from shopping. I am limiting my spending to groceries, gas and minimal entertainment like a night at the movies. I don't think it's good for me to eliminate all enjoyment when I'm limiting myself in the food department. Instead, my goal is to find ways to have fun, be with friends, and even go out by myself and not go shopping or not make food the main event. 5 days into this and I am not feeling withdrawals.

This morning I was reading Sojourners verse of the day, and it was Isaiah 55:10-11:
¹⁰For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return there until they have watered the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, ¹¹so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
Several amazing things about this. Sunday the choir at my church sang an anthem set to this text. Also, while I was reading it, it was pouring rain outside my window. Finally, this is a part of Isaiah's prophecies that has been especially meaningful to me and my covenant group (three other women colleagues). Today there was much more focus on the spirit than the flesh.

Day 4 addendum

One of my readers asked what sort of starchy veggies I am eating. Here is a sampling:

• Parsnip
• Plantain
• Sweet Potato or Yam
  
• Pumpkin
• Acorn squash
• Butternut squash
• Green Peas
• Corn

Also, some good grains and other choices include:

• Triticale
• Millet
• Quinoa
• Brown rice
• Whole rye
• Whole grain barley
• Wild rice
• lentils
• dried beans
  

28 Day Cleanse - Day 4

Well, today was a good day mostly. I had a brown rice dry cereal with unsweetened almond mild and truvia (brand name of stevia sweetener). I am a big cereal lover and was glad to find this alternative. It's filling. The shakes are boring but we get to mix them up with lots of fun things like frozen berries (low sugar fruit) or unsweetened cocoa. So, I had a chocolate shake with fiber boost and some almond milk. Yummy. Lunch was spinach and cage free eggs plus some berries. And lots and lots and lots of water. Did I mention lots of water.

The not good part is the nasty cold I have. It would be very easy for me to feed this misery. That's my normal pattern. I tend to eat healthy stuff, but often too much of a good thing. It's no wonder we Americans are overweight. Everywhere you turn someone is trying to get you to eat footlong Subways, large BBQ chicken pizzas piled with cheese, $6 burgers and so on. I think this is the reason that when I go to a French restaurant I'm more satisfied. Often the plates are small, but the flavors are rich and varietal. Possibly one of the tricks is to eat really good things. I'm discovering quinoa, lentils, fresh lean meats and lots and lots of veggies.
It could be worse.

My spirit is a bit low today. I helped the congregation say goodbye to one of our members today. This is two services in three days. One of our members asked me who pastors the pastor after one of these services. Very good and insightful question. I try to be balanced and keep my eye on self-care, but as the only pastor of a small church, it's harder than it sounds. All things are possible with God!

28 Day Cleanse - Day 3+

So if you all that I was going to breeze thru this 28 days and tell you it is easy to stay this disciplined, you're wrong! In addition to the focus required, the body is working hard to adjust to this regimen. But what makes it easier is actually focusing on the important things. It is not lost on me that I am privileged to do a program like this. I am actually inducing hunger. So many in the world have no choice but to be hungry.

Yesterday I was previewing a video series called "Liberty and Justice For All" by Logos Productions. One of the presenters is the late Dr. M. Scott Peck of "The Road Less Traveled" fame. At one point he was talking about how the media has instilled in us that the goal in life is to be comfortable. He goes on to say that it is growth that he think is life's purpose. What was both maddening and laughable is that he is telling this to his interviewer (another white male) while they sit in comfy lawn furniture in a lush garden with a huge traditional white home showing in the background. Who is he to preach about comfort?! Who are any of us, for that matter?

Well, I digress, but it takes my mind of hunger and food and the head cold that is in its infancy. Whenever I change eating patterns, I get a cold. Oh well, all a part of the process.
God comforts the distressed and disquiets the comfortable!

28 Day Cleanse - Day 2

Got up and made a multi-grain cereal with some unsweetened almond milk. One of the funny things about this plan is that you have a thing called "Wake Up!" You're supposed to get up and drink some water and tea and maybe a fizzy tab. Are you kidding me?! Since I went to bed hungry, don't they realize that the first thing I want to do when I get up is eat!? Seriously.
However, the hunger makes me much more aware of my body.

I had a shake for lunch. For dinner was two out of three. Yummy turbot and some great starchy veggies from Trader Joe's. However, the salad was a big fail. I think that cooking these veggies is more the way to go for me. I like dressing. Plain and simple. But I'm not so crazy about salad, so eating veggies in other ways is okay with me.

Back to the body awareness: Yesterday I had a headache. Today no headache. Yesterday I was a bit light headed. Today less so. The new less than pleasing side effect is a really awful taste in my mouth. What is that about?

God awareness: Nothing much to report. I led a memorial service this morning. I was certainly aware of the presence of God and my openness to follow God's lead. It's like being in the zone.
I am going to go to bed, pray for strength and go to sleep with a realization that millions of God's children go to bed hungry.

28 Day Cleanse - Day 1

So, maybe this is just what it will take for me to write more regularly. I've just started a program that was recommended to me by a friend. It's called Metabolic Edge. It is a combination of very basic foods (organic lean meats, limited starchy veggies, low sugar fruits, unlimited leafy greens and other non-starchy veggies, etc), protein shakes and other products from Figure 8 by Arbonne, and a paleo cleanse product that is used after day 7 and increases to a 4 day liquid only and then reverses the trend til the end of the 28 days. It's about gratitude, doing what is good for my body, understanding what foods I may actually be allergic to, and personally, trying to spend less time focusing on food and more time focusing on God. They say when you're hungry, think drink not food (non-alcoholic, mind you). I'm adding think God. The way I look food, I can only imagine I'm going to have a LOT of God time!!!!
My plan is to blog daily and to reflect upon my changing relationship to food and to God.

P.S. I appreciate people's thoughts and concerns. I do not believe this is a program that compromises my health.